Tuesday, 27 January 2009
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Another Year
My phone woke me up at 8:30 am. It was my youngest daughter calling to wish me a happy birthday. We talked a little bit; she was off school because of the snow. I did not do much at all today. Watched a movie. Washed some clothes. Did some dishes. Watched another movie. Thought about how nice it would be to go back in time a few years and try to fix some things that went wrong, but she would have just done it to me anyway some other time, some other place. I had calls from my parents and my sister as well each asking what my big plans for my birthday were. If I did not have to work tonight, drinking would be in the plans so I would not even have to think of today being my birthday. I told them I was going to spend the day alone (of course, not by choice). I looked through photo albums and missed my kids. Cried a bit. Thought some about her and her and wonder how people can be so screwed up in the way they think and how they treat people. It was a random day filled with too much thinking. Beer would have been better. Beer makes me not have to think and not have to hurt.
The weather sucks so badly. I had to drive almost two hours to work in a combined mess of snow, rain, slush and dumbass drivers. Tonight it will all freeze up which will make my drive home even worse. They blocked more sites here. How do they expect me to sit here for twelve hours at night and not fall asleep if they block every damn site we visit? At least they haven't blocked xanga----- yet. I found Hulu so maybe I'll watch a movie.
Anyways.... see y'all later.
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Comments (4)
When you're down, too much free time alone can lead to too much thinking. But that's how I process things by internalizing my thoughts and feelings. It helps me speed up the recovery. I guess to each its own.
@meltykb - thanks meltykb. i try to internalize and sort things out, but oftentimes it's too much to process.
@seatokodnewheart2002 - if that's the case, my age has stopped. thanks for the b-day wishes.
Aww Happy belated birthday !!